His name was Paul. An accountant by trade, a husband and dad, and this particular afternoon in Sydney, he was my client. There was nothing out of the ordinary or remarkable about Paul β except his words when he handed over his fee. I heard correctly. Paul's wife pays for him to seek intimacy with other women. The more Paul opened up, it was clear to me his confidence had taken a huge hit, his self-esteem was low.
He didn't feel loved and he didn't feel like a man. The woman he adored no longer desired him leaving him in a situation he felt he had to reluctantly accept. Paul would never leave, he doesn't want to split the family and he loves his wife. I can't speak for her, I have never met her and I'm sure she has her reasons.
She's either smart, or generous, or quite simply, realistic. Yet the whole situation was sad. They're only in their mids, yet Paul lies in bed back-to-back with what is fast becoming a stranger, every night. For the rest of his life. You can doubt his story, but I don't. In my eight years listening to the secrets of men as an escort, I have met hundreds of Pauls although their wives haven't been so generous β¦. Married men who for whatever reason aren't in intimate relationships with their partners.
They're not so much looking for a quick fumble in bed, but a bond far deeper. I own an escort agency where I employ mature ladies and I always tell them as long as men keep getting married, we will always be in business. I read something on Twitter recently β "A man about to get married is the least available man in the room. A man who has been married 20 years is the MOST available man in the room.
Pretty confronting isn't it? Especially if you're a wife with young kids, working full time and your tank is empty. The last thing you understandably feel like is ticking "pleasure the husband" off your exhausting long list. So what happens in marriage? Desire comes and goes, and it's not just women that lose their sex drive but men too. Young kids, bodily shifts, changing hormones and complacency are to name but a few reasons why your bed is now used for sweet sleep not steamy sex.
